No backing down now

I was tempted to begin with the words Knoxplex works, but that wouldn’t be right. Not now. All life is in balance is more like it. Knoxplex is a one-way concept, and while for every good thing in my life there is a bad one nowadays, the opposite holds as well.

It applies to this domain: I learned to back up the website but still can’t make the mailbox work properly. It applies to the Net in general: I know what I want and how to get it, but I still want more than I’ve got time for and often waste my time acting Buridan’s ass. It applies to my job: it gets more tiresome somehow but it still pays better than I’m used to. And so on.

To the point, though: today I paid the deposit to the travel agency I picked for travelling to Scotland this summer. I’ve been dithering over this trip for years. At first just out of fear of travelling without a crony; later I also lacked the necessary financial amount. But I can afford it now, even though it is a remarkable cut into my savings, and I’ve got homesick enough to override that fear. And having done the first really binding (in a way) step, nothing is going to stop me except some vis major like the agency going bust or me being overrun by a lorry.

So this does mark a new period. I usually try to wait with such things for some date which already has some meaning for me, and I was thinking about 7 March, the day I lost my virginity, but after all, today’s the anniversary of my first sleeping with the last guy I ever slept with. Plus I felt postponing would be a bit too poserish even for me this time.

Anyway, the time of relative frugality has come once more, and the time for eventually preparing myself for the journey in earnest. I won’t back down. With just a bit of luck, by six months’ time I’ll be in my country again. Still tied too much to this fucking one through my fellow travellers – but it’s a start.



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